May 2144

FTL Newsfeed Transcript This article contains the annotated transcript of FTL Newsfeed episodes, originally written by F. Paul Wilson and Matthew Costello.

2 May 2144

ANCHOR: The chilling winds and rain from El Niñocito may be dampening the spirits of the NAU Southwest – but the political climate is heating up in preparation for next week's New Amigos plebiscite in California, New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona. It will be a non-binding resolution on the question of whether these predominantly Hispanic states wish to secede from the NAU and join the wealthier Hispanic Commonwealth. New Amigos leader Francisco Cruz and his daughter Elaina have been making personal appearances throughout the region all week long. President Clarke refused to comment during a press conference in the Net earlier today.

3 May 2144

ANCHOR: The John F. Kennedy Living Assassination Exhibit opened to standing-room-only crowds in Dallas. It is housed in the Oliver Stone Auditorium, on the site of what used to be the Dallas Book Depository Building. The programme includes holographic re-enactments of the three most famous conspiracy theories surrounding the murder of this 20th century United States President. So far, the "Second Gunman" display is drawing the biggest raves. But it is also drawing fire from JFK's great-great-grandson, Bill Kennedy – the current mayor of New York.

KENNEDY: First, it was the "Grassy Knoll" home VR game. Now, this! Enough, already! What's with you people? Get a life!

4 May 2144

ANCHOR: With the New Amigos plebiscite being held next week in four south-western states, MacroWeather announced today that the storm-battered region will finally get a break from El Niñocito.

NIMBUS: We've regained control of the system. We're sending the rain up the coast to put out those brushfires in Seattle, then out to sea.

ANCHOR: But this won't stop New Amigos leader Francisco Cruz from pressing meteorological assault charges against the NAU.

CRUZ: We have pictures which prove that MacroWeather used its orbiting solar panels to superheat the ocean. What hit the New Amigo states was El Niño Grande – a deliberate plot to cripple them economically, and make them less attractive to the HC!

5 May 2144

ANCHOR: A 10-year-old boy was accidentally launched into space earlier today. Officials at Montauk Spaceport and Casino say that Nathan Astra slipped away from the guided tour and hid aboard a Harpoon class shuttle. The ship was scheduled for a routine supply run to Icharis Power Station, under construction in Earth's orbit. But by the time the youngster realised the shuttle was leaving, it was too late. He was found just in time to be strapped into an acceleration seat, and Nathan survived the lift-off without injury. Needless to say, the boy's parents were relieved to get the good news. The ship returns tomorrow – and there is little doubt that young Nathan will be grounded for some time to come.

6 May 2144

ANCHOR: President Clarke spoke with reporters this morning during a visit to the Southwest to personally assess the damage from El Niñocito.

CLARKE: I've declared parts of New Mexico, Arizona, California, and Texas disaster areas. I'm asking the Legislature to release emergency funds immediately.

ANCHOR: President Clarke, what about the New Amigos' claim that El Niñocito was a government plot – that you wanted to ruin the region economically and keep it out of the HC's hands?

CLARKE: Look, no one's trying to rain on their parade. El Niñocito was a colossal blunder by MacroWeather – nothing more. I'm ordering a complete review of the department's management. I promise you – heads will roll!

9 May 2144

ANCHOR: Interactive battle games have claimed another victim. A Minneapolis teenager, Peter Warzecha, was killed while playing Bug Wars at a retro-arcade last night. Police say the computer had been tampered with to provide what's called a "full-juice" laser blast, instead of the mild jolt players usually get.

ZAP: "Full-juicing" is the new craze. Teenagers do it for thrills. They dare each other to notch up the current. I wouldn't be surprised if this kid reset the laser himself. Look, I can't be everywhere. It's up to the manufacturers to find a way to make these games tamper-proof.

ANCHOR: This is the third battle game-related death so far this year. Authorities are looking into stricter regulation of Virtual Reality retro-arcades.

10 May 2144

ANCHOR: The trial of "R" leader Kyle Swann has ended. The Supreme Court Justices have retired to deliberate their verdict. With the government news blackout, we have no way to predict the outcome. But we do know this – if Swann is found guilty of conspiracy in the murder of Julian Matthews, then under the NAU's Treason and Sedition Act, the mandatory penalty... is death. In a related story, President Clarke made a surprise personal appearance today at a ceremony marking a new trade agreement between the NAU and the European Community. The move was clearly designed to counter Swann's claim that Clarke may be nothing more than a hologram.

11 May 2144

ANCHOR: The New Amigos plebiscite was held today in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas and California. As expected, a solid majority – 84% – of the region's Hispanic population voted to secede from the NAU and join the Hispanic Commonwealth. Attorney General Nagle called the vote "meaningless".

NAGLE: This is an internal matter which will be settled by the NAU.

ANCHOR: Nagle added that clone police reinforcements are being sent to the Southwest, which prompted a sharp reaction from World Congress Secretary General, Regnad Kcin.

KCIN: This is a dispute between the NAU and the HC. We would view any military escalation very seriously.

12 May 2144

ANCHOR: The last Yeti died in captivity in Beijing earlier today. "Big Mao" was the only surviving member of a clan of abominable snowmen discovered in the Himalayas nearly 50 years ago. Descendants of the species Australopithecus robustus, the Yeti were found to be sterile due to chemical changes in the environment brought on by centuries of industrial pollution. DNA Wonders has harvested his genetic material and the company plans to clone a new, improved batch of abominable snowmen later this year.

SPLICE: If you think the originals were something – you ain't seen nothing Yeti!

13 May 2144

ANCHOR: Earlier today, ecologists issued a global warning. Tons of deadly nuclear waste which were launched into orbit during the Great Disarmament Era of the 21st Century now appears to be heading back towards Earth, posing a widespread bio-hazard. The Intercombine Space Agency has promised to look into the problem. In other environmental news, TFP Burgers has announced plans to begin selling their food with plates, cups, napkins and utensils also made of textured fungal protein.

CHEW: It's the world's first truly complete meal. Everything's edible. We call it "Great taste – with no waste!"

16 May 2144

ANCHOR: "R" leader Kyle Swann has been found guilty on all charges! The Supreme Court will pass sentence within the next 24 hours. The sentencing will be carried live on the Crime and Punishment Channel.

[Video hash jams, "R" insignia appears on screen.]

VOICE OF "R": This is the voice of "R". There are clones in the desert... there are ghosts in the machine. Kyle Swann is a scapegoat for an evil more powerful than the human mind can imagine. He must be set free. He cannot be allowed to die!

[Jamming ends.]

ANCHOR: We have regained control of this broadcast. Once again, someone claiming to represent "R" has declared Swann's innocence, and called for his release. But at this point, it looks like time has run out for the rebels. Kyle Swann's fate... is sealed.

17 May 2144

ANCHOR: We now switch live to the Crime and Punishment Channel, where the Supreme Court is about to pass sentence on "R" leader Kyle Swann.

JUDGE: Mr. Swann, you have been found guilty of murder, kidnapping, and conspiracy against the Government of the NAU. This court has no choice but to sentence you to be executed at a date, time, and place to be determined by this court...

ANCHOR: What's this? There's a commotion in the court room. It looks like – a band of rebels is trying to free Kyle Swann! Someone's firing a plasma rifle, and–

[Cut to NAU seal with appropriate audio signature.]

OFFICIAL VOICE: This broadcast has been terminated for reasons of state security.

18 May 2144

ANCHOR: "R" leader Kyle Swann has escaped! Millions of viewers witnessed this dramatic scene at the Capitol Pavilion yesterday. A small band of rebels broke into the Supreme Court building and whisked Swann away. Reports indicate that two people were killed, six injured, and dozens of police clones were destroyed in the attack. We now go live to a statement by Attorney General Nagle.

NAGLE: There can no longer be any doubt that Swann's escape and the illegal clone cache are both the work of "R". We're mounting the biggest on- and off-world manhunt this planet has ever seen. Swann and his accomplices will be found – and police have been given orders to shoot on sight!

19 May 2144

ANCHOR: "R" leader Kyle Swann is still at large after his daring rescue by a small band of rebel cohorts. By using holo-imaging enhancement on the scene of Swann's escape, FTL News has been able to identify two of his rescuers. One is Elaina Cruz, daughter of New Amigos leader Francisco Cruz. The other... is the President's son, Bryan Clarke, who has been on the run ever since his conviction last year on clone-sex charges. We have been in touch with the Capitol Pavilion, but President Clarke refuses to speak about this shocking discovery. However, we've been told that she will address the nation shortly. FTL News will carry the speech live when it happens.

20 May 2144

ANCHOR: Speaking live from Capitol Pavilion over Chicago, here is President Clarke.

CLARKE: I'm offering a bounty of one million credits to anyone who brings in Kyle Swann – dead or alive. Also, effective immediately, I'm outlawing the New Amigos Party due to their complicity in Swann's escape.

ANCHOR: President Clarke, what about your son Bryan, and Elaina Cruz – is there a bounty on their heads, too?

CLARKE: The Justice Department has issued warrants for the arrest of Elaina and Francisco Cruz. As for Bryan – he's already a fugitive, and he'll get no special treatment from me or anybody else in my administration.

ANCHOR: But, President Clarke–

CLARKE: I'm not taking any more questions at this time. (She exits)

23 May 2144

ANCHOR: FTL News has received a holovid statement from Francisco Cruz, leader of the New Amigos Party, which has just been outlawed by President Clarke. The message was broadcast from an undisclosed location in the Hispanic Commonwealth, where Cruz has been granted political asylum.

CRUZ: I had no idea that my daughter Elaina was involved with Kyle Swann and "R". But her actions in no way reflect the agenda of the New Amigos Party. We will continue to fight for the right of our people to join the Hispanic Commonwealth.

ANCHOR: Meanwhile, President Clarke has demanded that the HC extradite Cruz to the NAU for trial. So far, there has been no official response from HC president, Jorge Diaz.

24 May 2144

ANCHOR: The government has issued a recall of the genetically-cloned wolves it released into the Rockies last year. The wolves are escaping from their range and attacking people. Scientists have resisted breeding them with violence inhibitors because this would reduce their chances for survival in the wild. In other news – the Grand Master Computer Chess Tournament has ended in victory for the new program from the HC "Capobianco", which defeated the reigning program from the Asian Prosperity Sphere. And here, a worker on O'Neill Colony Three proudly displays a record 10-metre pumpkin harvested from a farming strip. It'll be easy to lift – it was grown in zero gravity!

25 May 2144

ANCHOR: Jorge Diaz responded today to Madeleine Clarke's demand for the immediate extradition of New Amigos leader Francisco Cruz in connection with the escape of Kyle Swann.

DIAZ: Francisco Cruz – and his daughter Elaina, should she choose to come – are welcome to stay here as long as they wish. Furthermore, I once again invite the NAU's Hispanic states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California to join the HC. If Presidente Clarke wants to fight us on these issues, then she should do it in the diplomatic arena of the World Congress. No one wants war. Let us settle our differences peacefully like civilised people.

26 May 2144

ANCHOR: The Census Bureau has announced that, in addition to the categories of "male" and "female", the 2145 census will include a new classification – "other".

DIGIT: With all the experimentation in genetic modification, sexual identity has become much harder to define. I mean, what do you call a man with five male appendages?

ANCHOR: "Happy!" says Bruce Bobbit, whose organization – Many Houses, Many Doors – has been pushing the issue for years.

BOBBITT: We not only have people with multiple organs of the same gender – many of our members have male and female attributes. We're delighted that the government's finally changing its dated, sexist attitudes.

27 May 2144

ANCHOR: The lawsuit charging the NAU with meteorological assault against the New Amigo states was dismissed today. A grand jury could not find evidence that El Niñocito was a deliberate government plot. In a related story, Clarke's troop build-up along the NAU southern border prompted this exchange between Clarke and World Congress Secretary General Regnad Kcin.

KCIN: If these strong-arm tactics don't cease, WC peacekeeping forces may have to intervene.

CLARKE: Those troops are there as a precaution against civil unrest inside the NAU. They're not intended as a threat to the HC.

30 May 2144

ANCHOR: Tickets went on sale today for this summer's hottest retro-music event, Woodstock 175. The 175th annviersary concert of the classic rock festival will be held August 27th and 28th at the Jimi Hendrix Memorial Floater Stadium – directly above the waste treatment plant which used to be Max Yasgur's farm in upstate New York. Those unable to attend can order the live holoshow on CommLink's pay-per-vid channels. Promoters promise that the concert will be a big improvement over the 150th anniversary, which slavishly copied the original festival. This time, there will be no simulated bad acid trips.

Missing Video This episode is missing a video. If you know that one exists, please add it.

31 May 2144

ANCHOR: Phood, Inc. today introduced its latest innovation – TFP corn on the cob.

CHEW: Mmm, it's better that the real thing! The cob is made of textured fungal protein, too, so it's just as delicious as the niblets.

ANCHOR: Those who prefer "real food for real people" will be happy to learn that the Islamic Federation has announced a bumper crop of recombinant corn and wheat from its Sahara farmlands. Meanwhile, GreenGenes Produce has developed a new designer carrot for window-box gardeners.

GREENGENES SPOKESPERSON: It grows ten times faster that the old strain, so you can have fresh carrots on the table in one day instead of two weeks. And it's all natural – or pretty close to it.